


Without Him.

by MarquisDeMindfangette (KittyCreative)



Series: Jamilton Angst Series [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 03:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7997317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyCreative/pseuds/MarquisDeMindfangette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But that didn't bother him. What did bother him was why Alex was pretending to love him.</p><p>Why Hamilton felt the need to tell him he loved him, and then not even care.</p><p>Jefferson didn't need to be let down once more. His heart had been broken 2 times before, and he didn't know if he could handle anymore.</p><p>He just needed to try harder.</p><p>He needed to be a better boyfriend. That was it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Him.

Thomas let himself lean back into his hand, turning on his twitter app that Alex had made him get and checked his profile. He would do this daily since his boyfriend was off in France with friends, it would keep him up on everything that was happening.

There was a new photo today, Hamilton knew he liked photos. Or, he used to. Thomas had noticed something which made him hate the daily photos.

Whenever the smaller man smiled with his friends in the pictures, he looked so happy.

There was a happiness on his face that he never showed Jefferson.

Thomas had started noticing this at the beginning of the trip. How he always looked like he was having a great time and like he wouldn't rather be anywhere else in the world but there.

It may have been silly since he /was/ on a nice trip with friends, but that didn't stop Thomas from slowly feeling bad.

He had tried, so many times to get that happiness out of him, the happiness that he knew Alexander possessed.

Of course, he thought at first that maybe, Alex was just a little hesitant on getting close to people. 

But then he saw it.

How his eyes lit up when John would press a friendly kiss to his cheek. How he always burrowed his face into Gilbert's neck during hugs. And how he smiled so widely as Herc would pick him up in a large hug.

And then there was Thomas. All he would get was half-hearted kisses and soft little smirks.

What had he done wrong? There had to be something, Thomas had thought to himself.

He would give it all he had, the most romantic things he could think of. Candlelight dinners at expensive restaurants, roses, and other flowers, even cuddles to Rent. Nothing could seem to win Alex over.

But then again, when had anybody loved him out of anything that wasn't pity. Thomas knew he was just a walking, talking pity party.

He hadn't even known he had been crying until he reached up to unconsciously rub at his eyes.

But that didn't bother him. What did bother him was why Alex was pretending to love him.

Why Hamilton felt the need to tell him he loved him, and then not even care.

Jefferson didn't need to be let down once more. His heart had been broken 2 times before, and he didn't know if he could handle anymore.

He just needed to try harder.

He needed to be a better boyfriend. That was it.

Maybe Thomas had to be like John, Lafayette, and Herc. They could win his love. If he was like them maybe he could too.

He couldn't keep looking at this photo.

He felt his eyelids getting heavier and he suddenly realized just how tired he had been.

He was so tired. So, so tired.

Maybe if he just, lay down and went to sleep.


End file.
